i went to two shows this weekend. on saturday, i went to animal collective at logan square auditorium, and today i went to between the buried and me at the house of blues (i don't count the other bands that played tonight cuz *vomit*). from these two shows, i learned something.
i'm not young anymore.
i now feel like shows are for kids. and as young as i want to believe i am, i don't think i'm a kid anymore. i don't connect to people at shows the way i used to. i don't get as excited about live music as i used to. i just simply don't belong at shows the way i used to.
and nowadays i have an underlying general disgust toward the crowds. fucking kids ACT like they know and TRY too hard. maybe i was like that a few years ago. but i think i've changed. don't necessarily know if it was for the better, but i'm not like these scene fucks anymore.
i'm actually pretty pissed off. the band i wanted to see the most of tonight played the shortest set. 5 god damn songs. haste the day, everytime i die, ________ generic metalcore makes me wonder why each of these brand x, dime a dozen bands has legions of fans. between the buried and me deserves that many fans. but they played the shortest set and probably had the least applause. it might be too avante garde for these idiot kids. yeah, changes in time signature and melody are too high level for these high schoolers. keep fashioncore alive in '06!!!!!111 *diarrhea*
and as great as animal collective was live, i don't want to go to another indie rock/scene show for a long time. there was such a competitiveness, a feeling brought about from scoffs to the left and right, that just made me sick of everyone who listens to music. i am sometimes guilty of this, so i shouldn't point fingers. but i feel that i have grown apart from the show culture, or at least the crowds they bring in. i'm entirely sick of the notion of scene, the regurgitation of the word indie, and how people that dress the part spit the words "scene" and "indie" like they're going out of style. subculture has been annihilated for me, i hate it all.
cuz dammit, i despise youth. i'm too old for this shit.
i'm not young anymore.
i now feel like shows are for kids. and as young as i want to believe i am, i don't think i'm a kid anymore. i don't connect to people at shows the way i used to. i don't get as excited about live music as i used to. i just simply don't belong at shows the way i used to.
and nowadays i have an underlying general disgust toward the crowds. fucking kids ACT like they know and TRY too hard. maybe i was like that a few years ago. but i think i've changed. don't necessarily know if it was for the better, but i'm not like these scene fucks anymore.
i'm actually pretty pissed off. the band i wanted to see the most of tonight played the shortest set. 5 god damn songs. haste the day, everytime i die, ________ generic metalcore makes me wonder why each of these brand x, dime a dozen bands has legions of fans. between the buried and me deserves that many fans. but they played the shortest set and probably had the least applause. it might be too avante garde for these idiot kids. yeah, changes in time signature and melody are too high level for these high schoolers. keep fashioncore alive in '06!!!!!111 *diarrhea*
and as great as animal collective was live, i don't want to go to another indie rock/scene show for a long time. there was such a competitiveness, a feeling brought about from scoffs to the left and right, that just made me sick of everyone who listens to music. i am sometimes guilty of this, so i shouldn't point fingers. but i feel that i have grown apart from the show culture, or at least the crowds they bring in. i'm entirely sick of the notion of scene, the regurgitation of the word indie, and how people that dress the part spit the words "scene" and "indie" like they're going out of style. subculture has been annihilated for me, i hate it all.
cuz dammit, i despise youth. i'm too old for this shit.
i'm pretty sure someone hacked my myspace account. i can't login with my email/pass anymore, i don't receive comment notification emails anymore, and when i do the "forgot my password" thing, it says email not found. so they probably changed my email address and my password.
this somehow makes me feel important.
never before have i felt so rad. thank you, masked internet stalker!
this somehow makes me feel important.
never before have i felt so rad. thank you, masked internet stalker!
this week's thoughts:
- i usually wish that the world was hearing what i was hearing, while i was hearing it. it would also be neat if they perceived the things being heard the way i did. i think that is ultimate bliss.
- i'm somewhat excited to go home. i'll be at my parents' house on the 21st and 22nd because i have training for my job in schaumburg, and my dad said he'd drive me there both days if i went home. like i was telling clint earlier, i don't mind going home anymore. in chicago, if i'm not out and about i feel like i'm wasting valuable moments. but in huntley, i'm totally content with just sitting around watching tv. i don't feel obligated at all to accomplish anything. i think this feeling comes from there being not even 1 thing to do out there. but i don't mind, because i'm obviously using it as an excuse. a pretty good one at that.
- with my next paycheck i intend to purchase a used technics 1200 mkx turntable. one step closer to making the beats that are already in my head. and i can't wait to start my vinyl collection. gonna start that digdigdigging shit (actually i'm a biter, i just wanna be like joellen and jihae...)
- i'm growing more and more ashamed of the music i used to listen to, not to mention all my guilty pleasures at this point. you'll prolly never know what they are, i'm way too pretentious to admit any of it.
- seriously cannot wait for the sleepover at azeem's house. i mean, girls are invited this time, which is totally yucky because of the cootie factor, but i guess it's cool. i guess...
- can't wait to leave work. need to leave in worst possible way.
that's it for now. take care everyone.
it's always hard as shit for me to describe my line of work.
"where do you work?"
"downtown, at this company called accenture."
"oh. what do you do there?"
*fumble over words* "i uh...do computer stuff."
-or-
"what do you do?"
"i dunno." <--- easier answer.
my official title is "architecture/infrastructure design analyst." it's a fancy (read: bloated) way of saying i draw out the way computers talk to one another in a network, using microsoft visio.
if i were actually passionate about my work, i'd be all excited to explain what i do. it's hard for me to get excited about my work tho. the money is great. the benefits, great. and i even get to work from home sometimes. but i'm not even remotely interested in computers anymore. not to mention there's really no one i can relate to on my team. everyone's pretty old and they have families or are in the process of starting one. and if they're not talking about their families, they're talking about sports. i just have very little in common with my coworkers. i believe that the raddest coworkers can make any job really good. too bad i don't have coworkers i can relate to in any context.
it's a great opportunity. and i have no specific complaints about my work. i just can't get excited about it, and i don't know how long i'll be able to stick it out.
i don't think this will be my career. i don't know if i even want a career. it's money in the meantime, though, and i shouldn't expect it to be any more than that.
"where do you work?"
"downtown, at this company called accenture."
"oh. what do you do there?"
*fumble over words* "i uh...do computer stuff."
-or-
"what do you do?"
"i dunno." <--- easier answer.
my official title is "architecture/infrastructure design analyst." it's a fancy (read: bloated) way of saying i draw out the way computers talk to one another in a network, using microsoft visio.
if i were actually passionate about my work, i'd be all excited to explain what i do. it's hard for me to get excited about my work tho. the money is great. the benefits, great. and i even get to work from home sometimes. but i'm not even remotely interested in computers anymore. not to mention there's really no one i can relate to on my team. everyone's pretty old and they have families or are in the process of starting one. and if they're not talking about their families, they're talking about sports. i just have very little in common with my coworkers. i believe that the raddest coworkers can make any job really good. too bad i don't have coworkers i can relate to in any context.
it's a great opportunity. and i have no specific complaints about my work. i just can't get excited about it, and i don't know how long i'll be able to stick it out.
i don't think this will be my career. i don't know if i even want a career. it's money in the meantime, though, and i shouldn't expect it to be any more than that.